Stock Up.

We have a NEW item today at the market, an Organic Blueberry Peach Jam. It is absolutely delicious and low in sugar. My dear friend, Carie, came to visit us at the market last week, all the way from New York with her three beautiful children. She made me a couple different jams and one of them was a Blueberry Peach mix. It was delicious so it inspired me to make one for our line of Jams.

I should also mention that my friend, Lisa, inspired my Strawberry-Blackberry Jam, one of our most popular jams, when she told me that she combines store bought Blackberry and Strawberry Jam because she loves the combination and can’t find one that has both in the grocery stores.

So, thank you to Carie and Lisa for your great ideas and for being great friends.

Stop by the market TODAY to try these delicious jams and stock up on our Hot Fudge Sauce.

They will always be my babies!

Lilliana and Lucas went for their annual check-ups recently and Lilliana is in the 75% for weight and height and Lucas is in the 75% of weight and 95% of height! I just can’t believe how big they are getting and so quickly. Soon, I will be looking up at them, all of them, including my 6’3″ husband.

To me, though, they will ALWAYS be my little babies. I love them dearly, more then life itself.

The Scones were DELICIOUS!

Today, at our Food Jules cooking class, the kids baked scones! That’s right, the kids made fresh, homemade scones, maple oatmeal and blueberry with a lemon glaze. They were all very delicious, as were the English biscuits and cheese right from England. We also drank English Breakfast Tea and Berry and Lemon Tea directly from the English Tea Shop in the UK.

This has been a wonderful class to teach and all the kids have so much fun cooking, baking, working in teams and eating all of their delicious foods. They all do such a great job working together. Their parents should be so proud of all their efforts and great team work!

Last week, we learned about India and made Malai Kofta, a vegetarian meatball. We also ate fresh Naan from our local Indian restaurant and we made Indian rice pudding. It was a great class too!

Next week is our final week this summer. We will be learning and celebrating all about Portugal and Italy. The kids will make Lasagna Rolls, maybe some Garlic Bread and some Pasteis de Nata (custard cups). I’m looking forward to next week. I just hope there is enough food for me to eat! We always seem to run out of food. The kids devour every bite and go back for seconds and thirds! It’s great.

 

It’s worth it!

Today, we have a delicious selection of muffins, which include APPLE PIE CRUMB, MORNING GLORY and BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP. Trust me, you will be glad you came out in the heat today, because these muffins are sooooo moist, sweet and delicious!

We also have our most popular BANANA BLUEBERRY BREAD and ZUCCHINI BREAD, all made with fresh, local and organic ingredients. Come over early as ourĀ  breads and appetizers sell very quickly!

Our appetizer selection today includes RISOTTO BALLS and SPINACH AND CHEESE PASTRY SHELLS. Sorry, no empanadas this week – these are a lot of work and I was just too tired.

Our special this week is a NEW ITEM – Organic Jam Cookies, which are butter cookies filled with our Organic Triple Berry Jam.

Visit us today at the Monroe Farmers Market from 3-6pm.

Why?

I wish I knew the answer. I’m sure all of you wish you knew the answer to why certain things have happened in your life.

The intense pain. The constant reminders. The loss. The emotional battles with friends, family and my own self. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t think that I can. I just want to ignore it. Run away from it. Return to my old life. I just can’t handle everything that comes with such a loss. For all of you that have suffered a loss, you know what I mean. It’s more then “losing someone”… it’s losing a part of yourself, it’s losing a connection with the world and life, it’s losing others along the way. It’s intense. It’s real. It’s difficult. No one can understand. No one “gets it” unless they have suffered the exact same pain as you, but no one has.Everyone’s circumstances are different. Everyone’s stories are different.

It’s more complicated then it seems. It doesn’t pass over time. It just feels stronger.We need the constant support. We will always need it. We need it more now then before. Now, life is real. Things are moving forward and we are stuck in the same place. We can’t move without constant love, compassion, friendship, kind words, acknowledgement, respect. Even if we constantly struggle with the “why”, at least we have loved ones to help us feel loved along the way.

Happy Birthday to Lucas!

Today, my little Lucas celebrates his FOURTH Birthday! I just can’t believe it. He’s going into pre-school in the Fall. I remember taking my little Lilliana to pre-school just the other day and now it’s going to be Lucas.

Tonight, we are going to have a special birthday cake. Per Lucas’ request, we are going to make a Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting and add a layer of Peanut Butter filling with crushed Newman’s Own Oreos in the middle! His cousins and grandparents are coming over to celebrate with him.

Happy Birthday Lucas!

Nights are not good for me.

It’s midnight and I can’t seem to go to bed. When it’s quiet in the house, it’s the time when I seem to be the saddest, thinking a lot about the day and how Julian wasn’t here to share it with us. This weekend, we went to NYC with the kids in honor of their birthdays. Lilliana was so excited to get her very first American Girl Doll. She had saved up for months to get the doll and all her favorite accessories. The doll that she picked doesn’t have an official name so we named her Julia.

Lucas enjoyed the train ride the most. He LOVED seeing the trains go by at the station, looking at the tracks, riding the train. He couldn’t stop smiling. My little Lucas loves his trains!

Aside from visiting the American Girl store, we also visited the Lego store and FAO Shwartz and showed the kids Rockefeller Center. It was a very nice day. We didn’t have time to do much of anything else because as all of you know that have kids, it takes a long time to do just a few things, especially in the busy city of New York.

We thought about Julian a lot on our trip. There were a lot of reminders along the way and we all think he would have enjoyed going with us. I think about him often and it is so difficult to function and be completely happy without him. I struggle with it every day. I feel so lost sometimes, well actually all the time. Life was so grand and so happy before all of this happened. When I was pregnant with him, I was so happy with my family, with my life, with my THREE children. Now, it is so difficult to answer the question I get asked almost on a daily basis by other moms, “So, how many children do you have?” I don’t even know how to answer it anymore. It leads to a story and sometimes I just don’t have the energy to share our story.

Now, when I look at the smiles of parents, who have everything going well in their families, I am jealous, I am sad, I am disappointed. I know what they feel like… I know what that true bliss of happiness feels like. I used to have it too and now it’s gone. Now, I can’t seem to get it back and that’s what makes me the saddest of all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, I love my husband and I am so happy they are still here with me, but I don’t think I can enjoy them the same way that I used to. I don’t know if I can be completely happy with life anymore. It’s a challenge. It’s going to be a struggle for the rest of my life.

Keeping busy with Food Jules and everything else in life, doesn’t seem to help much these days. As a matter of fact, sometimes it seems to be doing just the opposite. Perhaps it’s because of the Lyme and the tiredness and migraines I’m getting again because of the disease or maybe it’s because it’s difficult to get a good night’s rest anymore since Julian died or maybe it’s because of the relentless strikes and challenges that life keeps bringing me. Whatever it is, I hope it gives me a break soon and a chance to just breathe again and be able to really smile and be happy. At least, that’s what I’m hoping will happen one day.