Nights are not good for me.

It’s midnight and I can’t seem to go to bed. When it’s quiet in the house, it’s the time when I seem to be the saddest, thinking a lot about the day and how Julian wasn’t here to share it with us. This weekend, we went to NYC with the kids in honor of their birthdays. Lilliana was so excited to get her very first American Girl Doll. She had saved up for months to get the doll and all her favorite accessories. The doll that she picked doesn’t have an official name so we named her Julia.

Lucas enjoyed the train ride the most. He LOVED seeing the trains go by at the station, looking at the tracks, riding the train. He couldn’t stop smiling. My little Lucas loves his trains!

Aside from visiting the American Girl store, we also visited the Lego store and FAO Shwartz and showed the kids Rockefeller Center. It was a very nice day. We didn’t have time to do much of anything else because as all of you know that have kids, it takes a long time to do just a few things, especially in the busy city of New York.

We thought about Julian a lot on our trip. There were a lot of reminders along the way and we all think he would have enjoyed going with us. I think about him often and it is so difficult to function and be completely happy without him. I struggle with it every day. I feel so lost sometimes, well actually all the time. Life was so grand and so happy before all of this happened. When I was pregnant with him, I was so happy with my family, with my life, with my THREE children. Now, it is so difficult to answer the question I get asked almost on a daily basis by other moms, “So, how many children do you have?” I don’t even know how to answer it anymore. It leads to a story and sometimes I just don’t have the energy to share our story.

Now, when I look at the smiles of parents, who have everything going well in their families, I am jealous, I am sad, I am disappointed. I know what they feel like… I know what that true bliss of happiness feels like. I used to have it too and now it’s gone. Now, I can’t seem to get it back and that’s what makes me the saddest of all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, I love my husband and I am so happy they are still here with me, but I don’t think I can enjoy them the same way that I used to. I don’t know if I can be completely happy with life anymore. It’s a challenge. It’s going to be a struggle for the rest of my life.

Keeping busy with Food Jules and everything else in life, doesn’t seem to help much these days. As a matter of fact, sometimes it seems to be doing just the opposite. Perhaps it’s because of the Lyme and the tiredness and migraines I’m getting again because of the disease or maybe it’s because it’s difficult to get a good night’s rest anymore since Julian died or maybe it’s because of the relentless strikes and challenges that life keeps bringing me. Whatever it is, I hope it gives me a break soon and a chance to just breathe again and be able to really smile and be happy. At least, that’s what I’m hoping will happen one day.

Vote for your favorite!

Yesterday, Food Jules celebrated our one month anniversary. So, now that many of you have sampled some of our muffins, jams, granola and baked goodies, we’d like to know which is your favorite?

Our Jams include Triple Berry, Apple Pie, Blueberry and Strawberry-Blackberry.

Our Muffins featured so far include Apple Pie, Blueberry Lemon, Corn, Chocolate Chip, Double Chocolate and Morning Glory.

Our Breads include Banana Blueberry, Banana Nut and Zucchini.

Other Special baked items include Chicken Empanadas, Turkey Empanadas, Spinach and Cheese Pastry Shells, Risotto Balls, Brie & Jam Phyllo and Vegetarian Chili Pockets.

Whichever get the most votes will be featured at next week’s market so cast your vote today!

Today’s Specials

Food Jules will have the usual at the market today, including our Organic Triple Berry Jam, Apple Pie Jam, Blueberry Jam and Strawberry-Blackberry Jam AND our Organic Hot Fudge Sauce and Granola.

Our assortment of muffins today include Morning Glory, Corn and Double Chocolate Chip. As well as our famous Banana Blueberry Bread, Banana Nut Bread and Zucchini Bread.

As our special appetizers for today, we will have Turkey Empanadas (healthier version of Beef), Arancini di Riso (Risotto Balls) and Organic Vegetarian Chili Pockets. These chili pockets are NEW to Food Jules but they are not new to the Cerrato household. This vegetarian chili (courtesy of Racheal Ray) is one of our favorite meals in this house. So delicious and so very good for you. Our pockets are topped with cheese!

Stop by the Monroe Farmers Market today from 3-6pm on the Monroe Town Green. See you there!


Well, it turns out that I have Lyme Disease… now it makes sense why I have been feeling so run down and not myself lately. Well, besides doing a million things with the kids, running a business, conducting a cooking class, planning for our vacation and going through all of my emotional battles lately.

I’m not worried. I’ve survived worse, I can certainly survive a little fatigue and aches and pains. The hits just keep coming!

Kids are amazing!

Kids are simple. Kids are honest. Kids are real.  Kids are truly amazing and I am lucky enough to have my own kids at home with me and being blessed with their sincerity, compassion and never-ending love.

Today, I was honored to be surrounded by many other wonderful children at our first Food Jules kids cooking class. All the kids were great and I enjoyed teaching them about something that I truly enjoy, cooking.

Today, the kids learned some fun facts about Spain. They learned a little about Spanish culture, language and cuisine. First, we ate crackers with Membrillo (Quince Jam) and Manchego Cheese, all from Spain. Then, the kids worked together in teams to make Chicken Empanadas. That’s right, these little kids, ages 5-11, made empanadas from scratch and they did a great job! Honestly, I didn’t help them all that much. Then, after all of their hard work, they got to eat their own delicious empanadas, followed by a special treat… they ate some homemade, Arroz con Leche (rice pudding). The kids devoured everything! There isn’t a better compliment to a chef, then to hear kids asking for seconds, thirds and more and having them finish all of the food that we brought to the class. It was truly an amazing experience.

Now that they all have the official recipe, maybe they’ll make them for their parents!

I just want to send a sincere THANK YOU to all the kids for all of their hard work at today’s class, a Thank you to the Children’s Librarians for making this all happen and a very special thanks to my sweet Lilliana and sweet niece, Mia, for being my special helpers.

We’re all looking forward to next week’s class, where we’ll be learning about India.


Comment Box

I’d like for all of you that have tried any of our Food Jules products, to please feel free to send me an email with any of your comments…. I’d love your feedback, positive or negative, as I’m always looking for new ideas or ways to make things taste even better!