Well, I did it.

Food Jules was a success today at the Monroe Farmers Market. I can’t believe I did it. I actually did it. I created Food Jules and I brought him to life again. I was able to share him with others today. It was so nice to talk about him.

Although I was extremely nervous this morning, everything seemed to flow nicely once the market opened and people started coming by the table. I was so thrilled to see so many familiar faces…. THANK YOU to all of our friends, families, neighbors that stopped over today. Your support meant so much to me and I couldn’t do all of this without your love.

Even with a busy afternoon, I couldn’t stop thinking about Julian. As I walked past one of his photos tonight, one of his many ultrasound photos, I cried and told him that I would much rather have him here with me. Food Jules makes me feel a little closer to him. For whatever reason, it does. I hope that I can make him proud of all of our efforts.  To share our story with others. To inspire others to love and to be thankful for all of their blessings. Mommy is trying her best Julian.

Oh, how I love looking at these photos… I remember holding him and having him close to my chest. I loved it. When Julian was born, he was in the NICU and I was downstairs on the maternity floor. Even at 2am, 5am, anytime, I couldn’t wait to go back to the NICU to feed him and hold him again. I LOVED IT. It was the most special memory of him. He looks so sweet and cozy laying against my chest. I wish I could understand why this has all happened. I don’t know if I’ll ever really know why he couldn’t stay with us. I wish so much that I could hold him again. No one knows how much this hurts and how painful it is to think about him and know that he’s not really ever going to come back.