As we were looking for a place to eat dinner yesterday, in a different town, near the beach… we came across Elizabeth’s Cafe and as we looked closely at the place right next to it, we just couldn’t believe our eyes… there he was again, Julian’s Interiors. That’s right. I know it may not make sense to all of you, but to me, to us, it felt good. In Lilliana’s words, “mommy, he’s right next to you”. That’s exactly how it felt, for the very first time, it felt different.
Usually, I would have been so angry about it. Angry at God for reminding me again that he was gone. But, this time it felt like he was everywhere. He is everywhere. Everywhere I turn, whether it’s a store with his name on it, or a new frozen food product on the shelf of Whole Foods, or if it’s in the eyes of the man that lost his wife or in the little babies that smile at me…. he’s there. My Julian is all around me. It doesn’t help reduce the pain that I feel in my heart and it doesn’t make the crying stop but it feels good to think that maybe he’s with me, somehow. Lilliana believes it. She has been telling me that from the very first day. “He’s right next to us mommy.” Maybe she’s right. I hope so. I really hope so.