Back to school blues

Well, the time is almost here, the end of summer fun with my children. In another week, they will return to school.

It’s a big year for my little ones. Lilliana will be starting 5th grade, her last year at elementary school (loads of tears here) and Lucas will be in school full time, starting 1st grade!!! For the first time in 10 years, I will be alone. Not only is it sad because I will miss them so much but it also reminds me that Julian was supposed to be here with me, smiling at me and keeping me from tearing down as my kids get on that bus. Now, no one will be here to do that and it will be an extremely rough patch for me. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be super depressing.

I know, I should be excited for them, their life is growing and they will be going on new adventures in their lives. Of course, I will be happy for them, but I know that deep down in my soul and heart, it’s not going to be all a sea of roses. It’s going to be hard. It already is really hard.

It’s been quite a summer, filled with good times and bad times. I wish I could say it’s been an amazing summer but it hasn’t, our family has experienced more sorrow this summer, but I guess I should try to focus on the good days. The days we were able to enjoy the sun at the beach or pool, go to a matinee movie, visit with friends, go on a little vacation, helping Lucas catch his first fish etc. This is all part of life, there is happiness and sadness. Sometimes, I just wish there were more of the happy days and much, much less of the sad days, but unfortunately, that isn’t how it works in this life.

When I was younger, I remember some of my biggest problems were passing my exams or trivial issues with friends, but now as an adult, the problems in life are so much bigger.

Well, I guess I must button it up soon and try to enjoy these last few days of summer at home with my kids, because I love them so much and love the time I have with them so much. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me (aside from marrying my hubby). Hope you all enjoy these last few sunny days that are coming our way.