The leaves are changing and the weather is cooler. There is more baking (although the weather or season doesn’t preclude me from ever baking) and we start eating warm soups and stews. It’s a great time of the year but not such a happy time for me. I prefer the spring and the summer when all the trees, flowers and vegetables are blooming. It’s a time of renewal and growth, beauty and happiness. I don’t mean to be a downer for the Fall and Winter but it really isn’t my cup of tea. Also, it reminds me of a time of much sadness.
Julian was born in the Fall, this is HIS time of the year and if he were here, I know my feelings towards the Autumn would be completely different, we would be celebrating his birthday with him and it would be so special. We do celebrate Julian’s birthday every year and we honor him in a very special way each and every year, but it’s just not the same as it would be if he was actually living and here with us, celebrating with us, smiling with us, opening gifts, running, laughing and enjoying life and his family. As I am writing this, I can actually imagine this in my mind and it is making me cry. I have been missing him a lot lately, thinking a lot about him every day. Again, maybe this time of the year is an extra reminder of our loss and how much we miss him. I do miss him sooooo soooo much.
In memory of my sweet, baby boy Julian. We love you and honor you and think of you every single moment of every single day. To all those who are reading this, give your sweet, living children a great big hug and kiss and remind them just how much you love them and how lucky you are to have them with you, healthy and smiling.