Ugh! This is so difficult.

Sometimes, I just want to scream!! This is too difficult. There is so much anger, sadness and resentment towards family, friends, God, and all that has happened. It is very overwhelming and so very difficult to overcome. How can we make these feelings go away? How can we breathe again?

This entire experience makes me feel so out of place… it just seems so wrong for all of this to have happened and to be feeling so distant from everyone.

I want to be happy again, to be normal. Sometimes, I just want to run away and struggle with feelings of wanting to move far, far away, just to get away from it all and start all over again. Would that make it any easier?  Can that help the pain go away?

What can help? Who can help? I don’t even know myself. All I know is that I need help. We all need help sometimes. We all need love. We need people to listen. We need people to ask how we’re doing. We need people to offer themselves up to help us in all different ways. We need each other. What we don’t need our people’s opinions about how we should be feeling. We don’t need critism. We don’t need awkwardness. We don’t need isolation.

We all deserve and need love and support. We need a warm embrace, some kind words, a thoughtful gesture. When times are tough, we rely on each other to help us get through it. We do it together. The best gift you can give someone is of yourself. Be kind to others. Be sincere. Be gentle. Love.

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3 thoughts on “Ugh! This is so difficult.

  1. We all love you and are here for you. Some people I think aren’t sure of the right way to help but they are thinking about you and love you.

  2. I understand your thoughts/feeling about wanted to run away. I too have wanted to run away during some very tough times in my life. It makes sense to me. I think Mike is right, sometimes people just aren’t sure as what to do, but still want to be there for you. Although we are not close, I think of you all the time.

  3. Your feelings are all normal and you have the rite to feel eveyone of them-its going to get better-you will be able to cope better I mean.maybe you need to talk with others who have had a similar loss or situation of losing a child ,it helps sometimes just to be with them.My cousin died in an accident when she and I were 17, 2 days after christmas,the year she was to graduate hs,we were always together,she lived just up the block from me, -we were like sisters. Its hard when people say stupid things-sometimes you want to slap them. I was in my first year of pharmacy school when Lora died and I failed a class,went to the dean and begged her to let me take the class over at a school near my home to avoid commuting,she said no, asked if I neede to speak to a campus priest and then asked me if my aunt and uncle were sueing!! I wanted to jump over her desk and slap her! because they don’t understand.
    people/fam/friends try to comfort you,they don’t always know what to do.they just want to make you feel better-and sometimes you want or need to feel the way you do.talk to others,go to a group,go to a dr and get any help you can!! I’m 2 doors away come if you need a shoulder!! I pray for peace for you.

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