Why?

I wish I knew the answer. I’m sure all of you wish you knew the answer to why certain things have happened in your life.

The intense pain. The constant reminders. The loss. The emotional battles with friends, family and my own self. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t think that I can. I just want to ignore it. Run away from it. Return to my old life. I just can’t handle everything that comes with such a loss. For all of you that have suffered a loss, you know what I mean. It’s more then “losing someone”… it’s losing a part of yourself, it’s losing a connection with the world and life, it’s losing others along the way. It’s intense. It’s real. It’s difficult. No one can understand. No one “gets it” unless they have suffered the exact same pain as you, but no one has.Everyone’s circumstances are different. Everyone’s stories are different.

It’s more complicated then it seems. It doesn’t pass over time. It just feels stronger.We need the constant support. We will always need it. We need it more now then before. Now, life is real. Things are moving forward and we are stuck in the same place. We can’t move without constant love, compassion, friendship, kind words, acknowledgement, respect. Even if we constantly struggle with the “why”, at least we have loved ones to help us feel loved along the way.