On Monday, November 8, 2010, Michael and I were at Bridgeport Hospital, welcoming our new baby boy, Julian.
Thinking of him today and everyday. Forever in our hearts and in our memories. Just look at him, he’s just beautiful and so sweet!
I remember this day like it was just this morning… the anticipation of his arrival and then seeing him as they pulled him out of inside my body. I was so excited, I wanted (want) him soooo very much. I will never forget that moment. They took him right away to the NICU though and I didn’t get to hold him or kiss him right when he was born. That was so sad as I looked forward to laying him on my chest as they wheeled me out of surgery. I tried to be positive and looked forward until the moment that I did hold him, later that day and prayed that everything would be ok.
We will never forget the moment we walked into the NICU and as soon as I said “Hi Julian”… he called out for me, yearning for me just as much as I was yearning for him. I still yearn for him every moment of every day. I can still feel the softness of his little tiny fingers and his smooth head and I can still look into those big, beautiful eyes and see into his beautiful soul. He has so much love and knowledge inside of him. He has so much to give us.
We are so thankful that after all the challenges he faced when he was born, we were able to bring him home with us. He worked so hard and we are so thankful to him for allowing us the privilege of having him home with us, even if it was just a few short weeks, we were able to hold him, sleep with him, bathe him and I was able to nurse him, the one connection that I always enjoyed with all of my children. He did it. He was a fighter and he left this world fighting hard to be with him mommy, daddy, brother and sister. He wanted to be with us as much as we wanted to be with him. Oh how much I wish we could still be with him right now, the only thing that I have to look forward to is to be together with him again some day. That’s all that keeps me going. I want to see you again my sweet boy. I want to look into those beautiful, sweet eyes again.
Today, we will be celebrating that glorious, special day when you changed our lives forever. When you changed the lives of so many around you because you are just that special. I love you. I miss you. Daddy loves you. Daddy misses you. Lilliana loves you. Lilliana misses you. Lucas loves you. Lucas misses you. We all really miss holding you Julian. Thank you sweetheart. Thank you for giving us your love.
Happy ONE YEAR Birthday Julian Michael Cerrato….. See you again some day my handsome man.