Fish is a favorite of mine and the kids, it must be part of our Portuguese descent.
Recently, we found this simple, delicious recipe for Baked Tilapia with Lemon and Garlic, so we’ve been making it a lot. It’s delicious served with roasted potatoes and asparagus. Last week, I made it with a fresh green bean salad, from my father’s garden. It was delicious!
Hope you’ll enjoy it too.
To all my wonderful customers who have been asking if I will be part of the Monroe Farmers Market this summer, 2013… I will not be participating this year. I have decided to take a much needed break from a busy school year and life and just focus on time with my family.
I apologize to all those that were looking forward to those empanadas and muffins. I will miss all of you. However, please keep in mind, that if you need anything, from jams to granola, fresh baked muffins, breads or cookies, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and we can make arrangements for you. It would be my pleasure.
The farmers market is still there, every Friday from 3-6pm on the town green, and it is a wonderful market with lots of wonderful in-season fruits and vegetables, so be sure to visit it this summer. The kids and I will be there when we can, to pick up some fresh veggies, eggs and maple syrup! Hope to see you there.
Argh, truth be told, it’s another day of sadness. These days are so difficult, feeling so overwhelmed with our loss and life’s complicated twists and turns. It seems as if I can never catch a break anymore. This empty feeling will always be here, forever engraved in my heart and soul, but lately, things have been extremely challenging. There is just so much going on in life that continues to challenge us.
Maybe it’s because Lilliana and Lucas are getting older and will both be in school on a full time basis in the Fall and I will be home alone, without my baby Julian. Or maybe it’s because so many people, including my close friends, around me are having more babies and are filled with so much excitement and joy in their lives and I just have a hard time being around that because I wish it was me. Or maybe it’s because life keeps throwing me curve balls almost on a daily basis and I just can’t juggle them all any more. Or maybe it’s because people still don’t ask me about Julian or talk about him because it makes them uncomfortable or they don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, so I am left with all this sadness within these four walls of mine. Or maybe it’s because life just keeps going on for everyone else and mine has been standing completely still for over two years. Or maybe it’s because my heart is in a million pieces and I am constantly reminded in life that I can’t run home to my baby because he’s just not here anymore but buried under the cold, hard ground. Or maybe it’s because I am trying so hard to make life happy again and then something happens to pulls me way back again to this sadness. Or just maybe it’s because losing a child is the biggest loss and hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my entire life and it will be with me forever and I can’t imagine dealing with all this pain and suffering and trying to be happy on a daily basis for the next 50+ years!
Whatever the reason, there are a lot! I don’t mean for this post to be a pity party but just a reminder of how difficult life is sometimes and how we all face so many challenges and some are much harder then others. Even though Julian died over two years ago, and we still go on vacations with Lilliana and Lucas, still take photos of our children, still celebrate their birthdays, still post recipes and still continue to move forward with “business”, it doesn’t mean the grief is over. The truth is the grieving will NEVER END. My family and I need and will always need constant support and loving. We all need it as each of us faces difficult challenges in life, some more then others, and we all need constant pick me ups. We are human and we need those hugs, sometimes more then you can even imagine on some days. So, keep asking your family and friends how they are doing and really, really listening to them, giving them your full support as they might really need it that day!
Yes! Yes! Yes! The other day I made these delicious Oatmeal Breakfast Cookies, Gluten Free and Vegan that I found from a fellow food blogger.
You heard me correctly, these little bites are filled with so many great flavors, including oats and peanut butter and sweetened with a little agave nectar and chocolate chips. They are superb and so good for you, no sugar, no eggs, no butter and no white flour. Made strictly with whole grain ingredients that you don’t have to feel guilty about eating these anytime of the day, even for breakfast!
This week, a few videos captured my attention and helped me realize, even more, how precious life is and how we should embrace it and live it to its fullest in love and laughter. Today, I’m going to share them with you.
This first video is about a woman, who lives nearby in Long Island, New York. In 2009, she lost her three children in a tragic car accident. I just learned about her story as I watched her interview on The View and downloaded a full interview on NBC News that I’ve posted here. As I watched her tell her story, I could see and feel the sadness in her eyes and her soul. Losing a child changes your perspective on life and alters the way you see the world. It is life changing and no one can ever understand that unless they have lost a child too. She lost all three of her children at the same time and her house went from lively and full of smiles to empty and cold. That just broke my heart to pieces. She’s written a book, ” I’ll see you again”, which I ordered and plan to read.
I have heard numerous times how I am an inspiration to people, and how I help others realize the true importance of our lives but let me tell you that in my eyes, this woman is a true inspiration to all of us. I am so fortunate to still have my Lilliana and Lucas here with me, they help me so much with their smiles, their laughs, their joy, their hugs and kisses. I take full advantage of all of this positive energy and am so fortunate to cradle up with them every day. When this woman talks about how her and her husband were planning to take their own lives, I can see that heart break and that longing to be with their children again. When you are a mother, that’s all that matters to you, is to be with your children. This mother and father continue down their path in life, even with all of this tremendous pain that will live with them forever. They are my inspiration.
The second video is about a young man, who died a few days ago from cancer. He set out to share his story and inspire others to live life to its fullest, smiling and laughing each day, enjoying his family and friends. This family knew their son was going to leave this earth in just a few short months and they moved past that resentment and pain, and enjoyed every last moment with their son.
It is so easy to get caught up in the woos of life, especially when the cards you are dealt are unbearable, but as I have said many times, it’s how you handle what comes your way, that makes you the person that you are. Instead of focusing on the negative (that my little infant baby, Julian, died in my arms and that his little body is buried under the ground in a strange place instead of being here with his family, learning to walk and talk and giving us hugs and kisses) but rather focusing on the positive (that we were fortunate to meet and hold our beautiful little son and Lilliana and Lucas were able to shower him with so much love during his few weeks on earth). We should let the positive energy flow out from our souls and embrace each moment that we have here on earth because we don’t know what will happen tomorrow. This family embraced their last moments with their dying son, they are my inspiration.
http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip?g=5
Finally, this is the last video. a different perspective on enjoying life. This group is showering women on the streets of NYC with song. This made me laugh, I enjoyed it so very much. I love it when people come out of their comfort zone to show others kindness. This is a true example of letting go and just being kind to others. In life, I have come across so many people who just turn the other way when a situation gets uncomfortable for them. Unfortunately, this happened a lot when Julian died. It is an unfortunate situation and so many people don’t know how to handle it, so instead they just ignore it. I am sure I have done this numerous times also, so I don’t judge them anymore. It isn’t easy to move out of our comfort zone, to take the time to do something for someone else when our own lives are so very busy. Sometimes, it’s just easier to not do anything, then do the wrong thing, but the thing is, it is better to do something, then not do anything at all.
I think what I enjoyed most out of this video, was just how much they made these women smile, just by taking a few moments to show them a random act of kindness. This goes a long way in my book. Instead of running away from this strange man, they just smiled and enjoyed the moment. That’s exactly how we should be living our lives, enjoying every single moment because you never know, it just might make your day!
Wow, this weekend was jam packed! Not only was it “Mother’s Day” on Sunday, but on Saturday, we celebrated my niece’s First Communion and my in-laws 50th Wedding Anniversary, plus it was OUR 11th Anniversary on Sunday as well. Talk about an emotional filled weekend!
I don’t know about you, but that is a lot of stuff going on physically, mentally and emotionally, all in just two days. So now it makes sense, why I have been feeling completely drained and a bit down these last few days. Sometimes, we don’t realize how keeping busy can really just suck up all our energy and I need all the energy I can muster up to just live each day.
This weekend, as you can imagine, was particularly rough on me. I thought about Julian every single second and longed for him to be with us during these special moments. Whenever we get together for family gatherings, I always imagine him there with us, enjoying laughing with his cousins and being part of our family unit. It is so difficult on all of us to go to these events without him. It takes a lot out of me, emotionally, to keep up my good spirits around everyone, especially our kids. We want them to enjoy their life, they are so young and have their entire lives ahead of them. I want them to feel our love for them and how we’ll do anything for them. So even if it takes up all my energy for a week, I will laugh with them, dance with them and show them just how much I respect and appreciate them.
Thankfully, I feel a little more rejuvenated today. The sunshine and warm weather definitely helps as well as a few days to just cry and let it all out. You need to do that. It’s the only way the anger, sadness and frustrations don’t keep building up inside of you. It is a valuable lesson, to honor your feelings, talk about them without feeling guilty and realize that you are not alone. There are people that take you in no matter what and appreciate and love you even on your “bad” days. Life can be really hard most days, so it’s good to accept that and move forward because sometimes things happen in life, that are unimaginable but sometimes things happen that are beautiful. It’s all in how you handle what life throws at you because it is what it is and we have to do our very best to just keep on.
Happy belated Mother’s Day to all the wonderful, loving moms out there. You’re appreciated and loved each and every day, even if it isn’t always obvious, wink wink. Here’s a sweet poem that I wanted to share with you all.
foodjules.com 