Category: Life, Health & Wellness

A few days ago, I celebrated my 37th birthday in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. It was a beautiful, sunny day and I was blessed to be enjoying this gorgeous day with Michael, Lilliana and Lucas. It was so special to be surrounded by their excited smiles for our little weekend retreat.

The entire weekend, we included Julian in our vacation, talking about little things that reminded us of him, especially the trees with the white leaves. Lucas refers to those as “snow trees” and calls Julian, the “snow boy”, because he was born on the first snow fall in the Fall 2010 and throughout his short 9 weeks with us, it snowed pretty much every weekend!

It had been a little over six years ago when we last visited Portsmouth. As a matter of fact, I was pregnant with Lucas the last time we were there so it was nice to re-visit a place that had fond memories. We also had the chance to visit the Nubble Lighthouse in York, Maine. Michael and I reminisced about how it has been over 10 years since we were there and I was pregnant with Lilliana on that trip. The kids really enjoyed hearing these stories and we couldn’t believe just how much has happened in these last ten years! Our entire life has happened, good and bad, from marriage to giving birth to three children, losing one to a miscarriage and losing another to SMA. It feels that in only ten years, we have lived an entire lifetime.

Julian’s passing has really broken our hearts and we miss him tremendously. We talk about him all the time, which is so refreshing, to be open about it with our children and to get a much needed hug or kiss from them when they see the sadness in our eyes and in our hearts. They are truly such wonderful souls and their love shines on us every day.

Well, I wanted to share a special photo with all of you. Lilliana and I were trying to take a photo of the two of us by the water but as you can see, we didn’t capture any of the water. However, you’ll see we did capture something much more unique and special, Julian’s presence. Julian’s love is shining down on us here in the beautiful sunlight. It’s quite magical, actually, and it reminds me to appreciate all those little moments together with your loved ones, as they are more then little, they are unique and special and hold a lot more then you can ever imagine.

Today, I read this GREAT article. It reminded me to try my best to appreciate what I DO HAVE instead of thinking about all the BAD STUFF that has happened in our life and all the things that I DO NOT HAVE! I hope it will help you feel a little happier about your life too, even on this cold, dark day.

By Chiara Fucarino

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, walking around with a spring in every step. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.

The question is: how do they do that?

It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …

1. Don’t hold grudges.

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big.

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others.

Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

9. Get absorbed into the present.

Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.

Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

11. Avoid social comparison.

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely.

Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

13. Never seek approval from others.

Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen.

Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships.

A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate.

Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well.

Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

18. Exercise.

Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

19. Live minimally.

Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

20. Tell the truth.

Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

21. Establish personal control.

Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

Today, on January 19th, marks two years since the death of our son, Julian.

This day changed our lives forever. The hole in our heart will always be there. We will always continue to yearn for his touch and always wish he were still here with us. That will never change. He will always be our son, our little baby boy, who suffered so much from this terrible illness, SMA (spinal muscular atrophy). We will always think about him, dream about him, talk about him, write about him and hope to one day be re-united with him.

A lot has happened in these two years. We have faced many difficult days, many days filled with so much sadness and loneliness. Luckily, there have also been some happy days when we have been blessed with feeling so connected spiritually to Julian. There have been numerous times when I have felt his presence, whether it’s when I put on a shirt that smells like the laundry detergent I used at the hospital, or hearing his name being called to another little boy, or feeling his eyes on me from his photos around the house or even when setting the table with Lucas and he asks to set a place for Julian.

There have been many, many signs that have helped me get through each day. For these, I am so thankful. For having him here with us for nine weeks, I am so thankful. For having my other two children living here with me, smiling at me, giving me hugs and kisses, I am so thankful. For such a loving and devoted husband, I am so thankful. For all of my close friends and family that have been so supportive and loving to me and my children, I am so very thankful.

Julian was a blessing, a special gift to all of us. Now, he is our own little angel, watching over us every day, protecting his big brother and sister. For that, I am the most thankful. Lilliana and Lucas love him so much and I know for sure they connect with their baby brother too.

Losing a loved one is so very painful. Losing a child is unbearable. It is something that I do not wish upon anyone. Living each day without my child is the biggest challenge I have ever faced. The only way to continue living, is to just wake up each day and try my best to love, laugh and enjoy the moments I have here now with my family. My children have lost so much too, at such a young age, so I have to be here to continue to support and love them, unconditionally. If I’m happy, they are happy and that’s what it’s all about, helping them achieve true happiness. I thank my sweet baby boy, Julian for giving me the light and strength to move forward each other. I do it with his unconditional love for me, his mother, who will always, always love and protect him and always hold him close to my heart as I did when he was here on earth with us. I love you so much, Julian.

Sending lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses to our son, Julian, today, tomorrow and always.